Sorrow

This has been an amazing week.  I have so much to share…I hope after reading this you’ll forgive my absence…

I have many people call me from all across the nation with dreams of farms, wide green fields filled with organic food to feed their families, happy critters grazing in the fields and time to enjoy it all.  There are days like this on our farm but this is a very idealized vision of the agrarian lifestyle.  There is lots of hard work…LOTS OF HARD WORK!  There are times the food in those green fields doesn’t come to fruition and there are times that the critters aren’t doing so well.

This past Monday we experienced one of those times.  It is kidding season here….a bit earlier than hoped for but easily explained when we noted the date that some of the girls decided to sneak out and play in the buck’s pen.  Monday morning, when we went to feed goats, one of them didn’t come to the barn.  We found her laying in a field and in very bad condition.  My best guest is that she had been in labor all night.  I think the first kid was transverse. No feet, no nose, just blood.

We worked with her and tried everything we knew to do.  We called our favorite vet and got some excellent advice and a good dose of reality (“don’t think she’ll make it Cheri – be prepared for that”).  We implemented all that he said…to no avail.  She died with all of us around her stroking her, weeping with and for her.  It was a hard day.  There are hard days when you live an agrarian life.  This was especially hard for Elijah…he has pictures of himself as a baby with her as a very young doe.  Elijah says “We were babies together”…..well, not quite but I understood his sorrow.  I think he cried for about 3 hours.  This was really hard for me.  She has always been my favorite doe.  She was sweet, beautiful, easy to milk….a pleasure to care for….I was looking forward to her babies this year – I am sure she was carrying three.  We briefly discussed cutting her open in an attempt to save babies but I could detect no movement at all, even though she was still breathing, still trying to birth those babies.  I think they died sometime during the night.

This then presented other problems.  We needed to find a proper place to bury her, and  we needed to dig a hole – a pretty big hole.  We also had an appointment that we absolutely had to keep.  Our friends the Willis family were playing locally for a home school talent show.  They were going to play two of the songs from their CD that Jeremy had accompanied on drums…. and they asked if he would play for the talent show.  We really needed to keep that commitment.

So, we placed her in an unused stall in the barn and covered her with a tarp.  We cleaned up and headed for town.  I was hoping that being around friends would help Elijah stop weeping.  After the show, we helped carry instruments, amps, cables, and soundboards back.  We were asked if we were going to attend a gathering of friends that night.  We explained that we needed to get home and bury our doe and wouldn’t make that gathering.  Our friends offered to come and help my boys with that job.  Jeremy says,  friends help you move but real friends help you move (and bury) a dead body.

So, Walter and Nate came  by and helped my boys dig a huge hole and bury our doe.  Hard and dirty work for several hours.  But, the boys said they had a great time of encouragement and fellowship as they worked together.  Because of their generous offer, we were all able to clean up and head to a gathering that evening that helped encourage us and lightened our sorrow.  What a wonderful time to be surrounded by friends who love you, can encourage you and even make you smile.  We are so blessed!

I was thankful to hear my boys praying that night…thanking their Father for the life of this doe, for the joy she brought to us, the untold gallons of wonderful milk and then countless pounds of fresh cheese.  She served her purpose well and blessed us….we are grateful for the many years she served our family….

We remember…that ALL that comes to us from our Father is good.  Every bit of it….and we are thankful to Him for our sustenance, for our comfort and for His blessings.

Thank you for your patience this week.